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About Last Sunday.

All hail king Jesus!
All hail king Jesus! 
All hail king Jesus?
Yes, all hail king Jesus?
As everyone sang those four words at the top of their lungs.
As she led with such beautiful tone and smooth crescendo.
I, for the first two times the chorus was sung, sang it too.
I sang it with all of me, because, you know, it’s Sunday morning, in a charismatic church,
it’s what you gotta do. 
But also, what kind of Christian are you if you aren’t worshipping?
My right arm, beaded and all, stringed up with my wrist wear collection from the past year,
gradually being lifted above my shoulders.
All hail king Jesus.
My left hand following suit.
But the more I sang the song. (It was sung before the service started and during it.)
The harder it became for me. 
The statement slowly became a question.
I saw, flashed before my eyes shut tight, Doubt.
Doubt like the monster you were afraid of when the light went off at night.
Doubt like that character from the horror movie you regret watching.
He was dressed in the reality of the world. Dressed in the tangibility of struggle,
the overwhelming number of the lost.
In that moment, within the time frame of one sentence, I saw myself question,
and within the emotion of my worship stepped in the skepticism of my mind.
In the midst of my blind faith I, all of a sudden had opened my eyes to disbelief.
What is this? 
What are we doing? 
A bunch of human beings, so sure there is something greater, all hailing King Jesus.
I broke.
Tears were gushing out like a waterfall whose gates had been opened.
It was wild.
The tears had two phases.
I cried for two reasons.
I had realised my doubt, unspoken of.
The doubt that was buried under the soil of the blessings in my life.
The great good things God has done! 
As the girl sang with her subtle yet lovely crisp in her voice, 
I broke some more.
There was a reassurance crashing over me, literally!
“Can’t you see I am King. Can’t you see I am God? I am good!”
And as I was reminded of love and grace. 
A smile began to grow.
To grow like Jack’s beanstalk.
I am so tiny. Such a box my God and keep him safe kind of Christian.
He is big. He is outside the box.
‘’Let every knee come bow before the King of Kings. Let every tongue confess that He is Lord.’’
The bridge that was clearly written from a special revelation of God.
I sang. I sang with faith.
With his warmth embracing me.

Friends God is alive! And of course! All hail king Jesus! 

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