Skip to main content

About Last Sunday.

All hail king Jesus!
All hail king Jesus! 
All hail king Jesus?
Yes, all hail king Jesus?
As everyone sang those four words at the top of their lungs.
As she led with such beautiful tone and smooth crescendo.
I, for the first two times the chorus was sung, sang it too.
I sang it with all of me, because, you know, it’s Sunday morning, in a charismatic church,
it’s what you gotta do. 
But also, what kind of Christian are you if you aren’t worshipping?
My right arm, beaded and all, stringed up with my wrist wear collection from the past year,
gradually being lifted above my shoulders.
All hail king Jesus.
My left hand following suit.
But the more I sang the song. (It was sung before the service started and during it.)
The harder it became for me. 
The statement slowly became a question.
I saw, flashed before my eyes shut tight, Doubt.
Doubt like the monster you were afraid of when the light went off at night.
Doubt like that character from the horror movie you regret watching.
He was dressed in the reality of the world. Dressed in the tangibility of struggle,
the overwhelming number of the lost.
In that moment, within the time frame of one sentence, I saw myself question,
and within the emotion of my worship stepped in the skepticism of my mind.
In the midst of my blind faith I, all of a sudden had opened my eyes to disbelief.
What is this? 
What are we doing? 
A bunch of human beings, so sure there is something greater, all hailing King Jesus.
I broke.
Tears were gushing out like a waterfall whose gates had been opened.
It was wild.
The tears had two phases.
I cried for two reasons.
I had realised my doubt, unspoken of.
The doubt that was buried under the soil of the blessings in my life.
The great good things God has done! 
As the girl sang with her subtle yet lovely crisp in her voice, 
I broke some more.
There was a reassurance crashing over me, literally!
“Can’t you see I am King. Can’t you see I am God? I am good!”
And as I was reminded of love and grace. 
A smile began to grow.
To grow like Jack’s beanstalk.
I am so tiny. Such a box my God and keep him safe kind of Christian.
He is big. He is outside the box.
‘’Let every knee come bow before the King of Kings. Let every tongue confess that He is Lord.’’
The bridge that was clearly written from a special revelation of God.
I sang. I sang with faith.
With his warmth embracing me.

Friends God is alive! And of course! All hail king Jesus! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Need of Grace.

To be honest, i've been spinning round and round in my head, for an amazing introduction-a great abstract to use to bring the truth i wanna share to life, a way to have you expecting the next word and the next because you know, it's been a minute since i wrote anything up here and there's a couple cobwebs i need to clear. I haven't gotten any-except for confessing what i just have. To sprinkle a little more honesty across this page, a prayer i read(yes, i read prayers, because sometimes all i can say is an amen to the request of another saint; as we are more alike than we think and more collectively in need of grace than we'd maybe like to admit) said, "O Lord, thou knowest my present deadness." And it's almost like a heavy weight was lifted-i understand this may be for a few, or for you to understand that the predicaments of the faith are deep and great. I'm where i want to be, lacking no good thing. Happy, healthy and feeling c...
9 comments
Read more

Part two.

Sort of glad that only a handful of people read my simple raw line.   ''I'm learning to listen. not going too great but I am.'' Ha! Y'all really thought I'd write a post that short and leave it at that? Man I thought I could. Best believe I was very uncomfortable with it. Probably a blend of the fear of being misunderstood and feeling naked  because who likes to announce the things they know they are not good at? Or the traits or the lack of them there of that need improvement? I would like for people to think I get a lot of things right but I in fact don't. It's almost like I mess up more than I don't. I hope you aren't sensing false vulnerability from reading this because it seems an awful lot like that. Where someone (me) thinks that by touching the surface of my imperfection (very vaguely if I may add), that someone else (you) will relate with me on a more human realistic level ( which is always the secondary hope I have when I write to y...
6 comments
Read more

A burnt child dreads fire but...

This is the most spontaneously I've written so far. Where I immediately grab my laptop with little thought and plan and get at it. Refiner by Maverick city (a band that is in every way heaven sent!) is playing in the background. It's a song I fell in love with the first time I heard it. And couldn't stop singing it. And then, all of a sudden I stopped singing it. I was too afraid to. I couldn't. Here's a snippet of the lyrics; I want to be tried by fire, purified. You take whatever you desire, Lord here's my life. Burn me beautiful, burn me holy. Burn me righteous, burn me lovely. I want to be really brief today so I'll say, after a pep talk of sorts from my friend, he put things into perspective reminding me that if my loyalty and heart really belongs to God, then I should be ready for his chastening. For the ways in which he desires to purify me. I should really want to burn for only Him . I shouldn't be afraid of singing the song in simpler terms. But...
6 comments
Read more