Many thoughts. His heart.

Life has this thing where it very often convinces me and maybe you, that God is a lie. That "hope" is hopeless. That we should all give it all up. There's no point. In fact, most famous question, "What is life?" And what is it? But a couple of years, or months, weeks, days, hours, second, now, never. Then, before, here, after. And you know, life almost always wins. Sometimes the things that do not make sense shout at us. Screaming in our face. And you know what else shows up, Questioning. Frustration. A desperate earnest search. Oblivious that we are searching. Because it's just what we know life needs us to do. GOD IS REAL. And like has been said "That is that about that." And you know how there is always an either, or an or. Well, either or. Either let him walk with you. And show you how to walk through life. Or. And each day will be a day to pick. I know sometimes we make it look like a platform. You know a run to when n

Last night was one of the toughest nights for me yet. And if you are like me and you think life is a musical, you probably sang the song "last night  by Kranium" after reading the first two words. Yes. That along with everything else I am about to write on is to show you that I am 100% human.  A girl, with battles and such and not too out of touch with things around. Like music. I love music. I'm drifting off far too much right now.           As I was saying, it was tough. It was like a hurricane destroying belief I had built up for years. Scriptures were being torn down and apart, faith being blown away, Doubt, wanting to understand, needing clarity. Looking for comfort in certainty. that describes the weather of my heart last night. So 1. Yes, even I lose it, within myself and just want to cry.      2. It's not that I am everyday perfectly in love with Jesus, everyday being a vessel, or everyday "repping the set" in fact I do that more not than often

I am an animation person 100% and I finished watching Next Gen a minute ago. Title sounds unfamiliar, probably and that's okay, I got you covered. I was in tears by the time I was done. This girl living in a world half robot and half human, abandoned by her father and living with her mother who is also very consumed with the whole idea of having a robot for companionship and everything else ends up where she shouldn't be (obviously) and brings the scientist's secret robot project to life. A fair portion of the movie is filled with this robot trying to find this girl and give her back the bag that she had forgotten during her dramatic departure.  The girl is broken and has a mindset of one used to fighting on her own and is also built by her cold memory of her dad leaving. As you'd see coming, the girl and robot create a bond because for the girl, she liked the idea of having a bot that would blast things for her and help avenge her from her bullies and the robot loved h