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Almost Grab

Lord,

I want to learn to turn my eyes upon you.
I want to learn to look full in your wonderful face.
I want to want you. 
I want to know that nothing else will do.
It’s a struggle every time I walk past that white board.
With beautifully scattered writings of your character. 
“What’s the sweetest thing about God's character to you?”
‘’His grace.’’ one girl wrote.
Another ‘’His kindness.” “He never changes, always constant, faithful, ever present.’’
I walk by every time.
I stare into the white board. 
I almost grab the marker and then I do not.
I could write about his passion for my heart.
His pursuit for his sheep and the tenderness of his shepherding. 
But I don’t.
Can’t bring myself to.
I am tired of head knowledge for I am it’s queen. 
I play with words like a guitar player has fun with strings.
I don’t want my worship to be to uphold my talent.
To enhance my already "well established wisdom" well.
I want to learn to want you so that I know you. 
So that more than I know about you, I know you. 
I want your heart ripped open before me,
To stare into its veins and flesh.
So that it’s not just awareness of why it beats and what for,
But so that my heart will beat for the same.
And while at it be amazed.
I want to see just how wonderful your face is. 
I want to know afresh.
Lead me to the cross, and your resurrection.
Lead me to hope, and peace and joy.
Lead me to LOVE.
I want to write about you because you are showing me.
Because I see.
Because I have turned my eyes upon you.

Head knowl•edge
/hed/ /'näləj/
1. Having facts and information and skills acquired by experience and or education.

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