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I'm learning to listen. not going too great but I am.

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A burnt child dreads fire but...

This is the most spontaneously I've written so far. Where I immediately grab my laptop with little thought and plan and get at it. Refiner by Maverick city (a band that is in every way heaven sent!) is playing in the background. It's a song I fell in love with the first time I heard it. And couldn't stop singing it. And then, all of a sudden I stopped singing it. I was too afraid to. I couldn't. Here's a snippet of the lyrics; I want to be tried by fire, purified. You take whatever you desire, Lord here's my life. Burn me beautiful, burn me holy. Burn me righteous, burn me lovely. I want to be really brief today so I'll say, after a pep talk of sorts from my friend, he put things into perspective reminding me that if my loyalty and heart really belongs to God, then I should be ready for his chastening. For the ways in which he desires to purify me. I should really want to burn for only Him . I shouldn't be afraid of singing the song in simpler terms. But...
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Need of Grace.

To be honest, i've been spinning round and round in my head, for an amazing introduction-a great abstract to use to bring the truth i wanna share to life, a way to have you expecting the next word and the next because you know, it's been a minute since i wrote anything up here and there's a couple cobwebs i need to clear. I haven't gotten any-except for confessing what i just have. To sprinkle a little more honesty across this page, a prayer i read(yes, i read prayers, because sometimes all i can say is an amen to the request of another saint; as we are more alike than we think and more collectively in need of grace than we'd maybe like to admit) said, "O Lord, thou knowest my present deadness." And it's almost like a heavy weight was lifted-i understand this may be for a few, or for you to understand that the predicaments of the faith are deep and great. I'm where i want to be, lacking no good thing. Happy, healthy and feeling c...
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Part two.

Sort of glad that only a handful of people read my simple raw line.   ''I'm learning to listen. not going too great but I am.'' Ha! Y'all really thought I'd write a post that short and leave it at that? Man I thought I could. Best believe I was very uncomfortable with it. Probably a blend of the fear of being misunderstood and feeling naked  because who likes to announce the things they know they are not good at? Or the traits or the lack of them there of that need improvement? I would like for people to think I get a lot of things right but I in fact don't. It's almost like I mess up more than I don't. I hope you aren't sensing false vulnerability from reading this because it seems an awful lot like that. Where someone (me) thinks that by touching the surface of my imperfection (very vaguely if I may add), that someone else (you) will relate with me on a more human realistic level ( which is always the secondary hope I have when I write to y...
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