Many thoughts. His heart.

  O f what importance is my way of seeing? How important is my way of seeing people? How important is the way you see yourself? How does God see you? What does he see? Is there any chance that we can see ourselves truly, see how God sees our true selves and then, see people truly and see them how God sees them? (technical I know, sorry) What if you were more purposeful about focusing on how God sees you, despite you and holding on to that, because would you dare to see and therefore treat people any less than how He sees and treats you?  I have a big thought that I'll hopefully narrow down soon so bear with me. “One of the worst things one can do to oneself is not know oneself. The good, the clean and the shady.” - a note to self in my journal from a few days ago. Here's a snippet from a novel I read titled The Wise Woman by George McDonald. “... the wise woman caught up the mirror and held it before her (Agnes): Agnes saw her Somebody(saw herself)-- the very embodiment of mi

You know those sights that you never want to forget. trains are always gonna mean so much to me from now on. The Lord gives me glimpses of Himself.  Of this I'm so very convinced.  I don't say this out of pride, to illustrate that I see that which you can't or haven't ever.  No.  He gives the glimpses to all but most times our eyes are lazy. Settled, okay with and satisfied by ugliness and the fruit of bad theology.  I had never really pressed into the idea of art vs beauty up until a couple days ago. I always thought of them as twins. Inseparable. Because when I think of art there is usually a connotation of beauty with that thought. But if you really think about it, there's art that's ugly. Art that disturbs. She was saying, the lady I was having a conversation with, that all art really is, is an outward expression of our perceptions of reality. That's broad. Beauty, is narrower, It's truest source in one thing; God. And He shows me Himself in all the

To be honest, i've been spinning round and round in my head, for an amazing introduction-a great abstract to use to bring the truth i wanna share to life, a way to have you expecting the next word and the next because you know, it's been a minute since i wrote anything up here and there's a couple cobwebs i need to clear. I haven't gotten any-except for confessing what i just have. To sprinkle a little more honesty across this page, a prayer i read(yes, i read prayers, because sometimes all i can say is an amen to the request of another saint; as we are more alike than we think and more collectively in need of grace than we'd maybe like to admit) said, "O Lord, thou knowest my present deadness." And it's almost like a heavy weight was lifted-i understand this may be for a few, or for you to understand that the predicaments of the faith are deep and great. I'm where i want to be, lacking no good thing. Happy, healthy and feeling c

Sort of glad that only a handful of people read my simple raw line.   ''I'm learning to listen. not going too great but I am.'' Ha! Y'all really thought I'd write a post that short and leave it at that? Man I thought I could. Best believe I was very uncomfortable with it. Probably a blend of the fear of being misunderstood and feeling naked  because who likes to announce the things they know they are not good at? Or the traits or the lack of them there of that need improvement? I would like for people to think I get a lot of things right but I in fact don't. It's almost like I mess up more than I don't. I hope you aren't sensing false vulnerability from reading this because it seems an awful lot like that. Where someone (me) thinks that by touching the surface of my imperfection (very vaguely if I may add), that someone else (you) will relate with me on a more human realistic level ( which is always the secondary hope I have when I write to y

I'm learning to listen. not going too great but I am.

This is the most spontaneously I've written so far. Where I immediately grab my laptop with little thought and plan and get at it. Refiner by Maverick city (a band that is in every way heaven sent!) is playing in the background. It's a song I fell in love with the first time I heard it. And couldn't stop singing it. And then, all of a sudden I stopped singing it. I was too afraid to. I couldn't. Here's a snippet of the lyrics; I want to be tried by fire, purified. You take whatever you desire, Lord here's my life. Burn me beautiful, burn me holy. Burn me righteous, burn me lovely. I want to be really brief today so I'll say, after a pep talk of sorts from my friend, he put things into perspective reminding me that if my loyalty and heart really belongs to God, then I should be ready for his chastening. For the ways in which he desires to purify me. I should really want to burn for only Him . I shouldn't be afraid of singing the song in simpler terms. But