Many thoughts. His heart.

It's supposed to be a classic, this movie I watched a couple days ago. In fact, I think it is. Such a philosophical movie what what. Anyway, quick run through; the world is being controlled by secret agents of artificial intelligence, to be honest, I don't even know if the matrix was those scary sketchy robotic like creatures or if it was  the computer running the humans and being in control of their minds giving them false realities or what it was! I was sleepy and scared as I watched the movie. It's title? The Matrix.😁 But here's my point. The truth of  the matter ( for the main actor Neo) being that nothing he had ever experienced in his life was actually real was a hard pill to swallow. (he discovered that everything he had ever experienced was only an illusion.) Neo always knew there was something that he didn't understand, something odd about the world and he was determined to make sense of it and find clarity. Neo meets Morpheus, pretty heroic all knowi...

If he loves you then why obey? Right? Why not get away with anything? Yeah? Well if you love him then why not obey?

Life has this thing where it very often convinces me and maybe you, that God is a lie. That "hope" is hopeless. That we should all give it all up. There's no point. In fact, most famous question, "What is life?" And what is it? But a couple of years, or months, weeks, days, hours, second, now, never. Then, before, here, after. And you know, life almost always wins. Sometimes the things that do not make sense shout at us. Screaming in our face. And you know what else shows up, Questioning. Frustration. A desperate earnest search. Oblivious that we are searching. Because it's just what we know life needs us to do. GOD IS REAL. And like has been said "That is that about that." And you know how there is always an either, or an or. Well, either or. Either let him walk with you. And show you how to walk through life. Or. And each day will be a day to pick. I know sometimes we make it look like a platform. You know a run to when n...

Last night was one of the toughest nights for me yet. And if you are like me and you think life is a musical, you probably sang the song "last night  by Kranium" after reading the first two words. Yes. That along with everything else I am about to write on is to show you that I am 100% human.  A girl, with battles and such and not too out of touch with things around. Like music. I love music. I'm drifting off far too much right now.           As I was saying, it was tough. It was like a hurricane destroying belief I had built up for years. Scriptures were being torn down and apart, faith being blown away, Doubt, wanting to understand, needing clarity. Looking for comfort in certainty. that describes the weather of my heart last night. So 1. Yes, even I lose it, within myself and just want to cry.      2. It's not that I am everyday perfectly in love with Jesus, everyday being a vessel, or everyday "repping ...

I am an animation person 100% and I finished watching Next Gen a minute ago. Title sounds unfamiliar, probably and that's okay, I got you covered. I was in tears by the time I was done. This girl living in a world half robot and half human, abandoned by her father and living with her mother who is also very consumed with the whole idea of having a robot for companionship and everything else ends up where she shouldn't be (obviously) and brings the scientist's secret robot project to life. A fair portion of the movie is filled with this robot trying to find this girl and give her back the bag that she had forgotten during her dramatic departure.  The girl is broken and has a mindset of one used to fighting on her own and is also built by her cold memory of her dad leaving. As you'd see coming, the girl and robot create a bond because for the girl, she liked the idea of having a bot that would blast things for her and help avenge her from her bullies and the robot loved h...

Hope. Hope. Hope. I had a lovely weekend. Which this time frame won't really matter eventually because you might be reading this two years later. Anyway, I attended a Saturday service with my friend,Em.( Oh my goodness, I have just thought about how funny it would be if I had  instead typed her full name, phone number and instagram handle. Crazy the places my mind goes.) Okay, so all through the service, the word hope kept standing out for me. If I had written this earlier I would have a more detailed story. But I remember for sure that the worship leader, as she was somewhat fading into that silent moment, if you are familiar with how worship sessions go you'd know that usually the air is filled with sweet simple melodies by the instrumentalists; most likely an extension of the last song that was sang, the leader humming a bit or singing her prayer, or simply praying. Praying for us, for herself, for the church. And then at times also, the leader might give a mini speech...

I listened to a song, and it's been on replay for a while now. Beautiful people by Sheeran and Khalid. I am still understanding the song as a whole. But a line that they repeat severally, brought me here this morning. "We are not beautiful" There is lots of ways to deconstruct and reconstruct this to try and develop an idea of what they meant to be exact. And I could leave that up to you, I know for sure it was not in any way about features and aesthetic value. What I do want to address, is, there is always two ways to it:  1.we are not beautiful, our emotions and fears and burdens are ugly, and we have let them make us what we are now; a reflection of our ugly past and ugly circumstances, bitter because we were made bitter, angry because we are full of sin, because that is what we crave. 2.we are beautiful, able to love, have a certain level of empathy and sympathy and compassion, with beautiful smiles from beautiful moments, beautiful poems from beautiful times.   Her...